Do Mommies Toot? Not My Mommy


As a “boy mom”, I knew my life would be filled with poop jokes, smelly clothes, and of course, everyone’s favorite: loud bouts of flatulence.

But little did I know that MY toots (or lack thereof) would teach me about how my toddler saw me through his own little eyes, and how no matter what, I am more than enough for him. And that is truly all that matters.

My family is pretty open about tooting in front of each other. Maybe accidentally, maybe on purpose (I did tell you I have two little boys and a husband, right?)

But for my two-year-old, for whatever reason, whenever he toots, he becomes scared and will sometimes cry. (And yes, he can toot like a man…seriously). Or the more likely scenario, he doesn’t know what is happening to his little body.

Have you ever tried to explain how or why someone toots to a two-year-old with a straight face? I had to Google it and then I just decided to go with, “because we have to get rid of the bad stuff that we put in our bodies.” Like dirt, he replied. Exactly.

Be that as it may, when he accidentally passed gas in front of my uncle, he became very aware of his surroundings and his eyes looked like a deer’s in the headlights before he put his head down and started to shed a few tears.

So my uncle kindly told him, “It’s ok, everyone toots, even mommies toot.”

My toddler perked right up and said, “Not my mommy.”

Yes. His mommy doesn’t toot (she just gets really bad stomach aches and is always bloated). Ha!

After I got done giggling at the thought of life without toots, I smiled and beamed with pride.

You see, this story isn’t about gas (thank goodness), it’s about how my sweet little boy views his mommy.

On days when I feel like I’m not good enough, too stressed, or didn’t read to him for 20 minutes, I look back on this memory and think, to him, my innocent two-year-old, I am just right.

To him, there is no way I could be associated with something so scary, gross, and disgusting. To him, my body was so perfect that there was no way that I could pass gas. How dare anyone think otherwise?

At that moment, he was my protector and defender. He was my Knight in Shining Armor, protecting me from the stinky gas passers.

Toddlers have fascinating minds and a unique perspective on how they see the world. I think there’s a thing or two that adults could learn from their innocence. But of course, when they think you don’t have any flaws, of course, I’m tooting my own horn (no pun intended).

Some day he will learn that I do indeed toot (gasp!). Or will he just believe me when I blame it on his brother or dad?

And when he does find out (maybe in science class or when he has his first girlfriend) it is my everlasting hope that he will still love me with those innocent eyes and kind heart.

It is my wish that I will always be reminded that no matter how the world or I see my self, that to my toddler, I am enough, I am his world, and there is no greater joy on earth.

Well, this was my first blog post for the Greater Mankato Mom. My hope is that if you follow along, you can relate to your own family’s goofiness, or get a good laugh at my family’s expense as we continue on this wonderful, crazy, spectacular journey of motherhood!